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Self Talk

by Jonathan Burks

/
1.
you are what you sin, let the right one in we are where we been legs of mice and men carry what they can and don’t what they can’t surfs up young Siddhartha party starts with or without ya strange times indeed, you are what you need we grow what we feed backs of mice, big time they bend heavy boots descend the Mike Tysons and Jesus Christers pulling blood and buying tigers no more next of kin, the valley floods that's it let the right one in surface displays the fin, we swim where we're in you see what you get heart of darkness there on its haunches selfie-stick, yes, poke and taunt it mouthful of sharks and sheep no teeth in our dreams, no peace in our sleep hearts of mice and men pound upon the wind let the right one in
2.
so down on your luck coming back around from above steady as the rain, coming round from above you gotta take it easy honey but take it, uh huh times are tough but so are you aint nothing but another something to get through you gotta take it easy honey but take it, uh huh mouths all full of timber, everyone’s got the scoots you aint got no time for that, what what, woot woot you gotta take it easy honey but take it, uh huh whatever cracks your gong, whatever floats your boat if the water’s wet you gotta get in and row you gotta take it easy honey but take it, uh huh
3.
Self Talk 02:40
get up or stay down you do or you don’t aint no middle ground keep on or quit that’s the only choice there is cash out or double down you can win the day till tomorrow comes ‘round get up, move something hard work is itself a means to an end what other’s do, what other’s don’t aint your business, make your own tend the fire, where it burns sometimes the gain is just how it’s earned I’m grateful for what I got it’s all I need, aint that a lot I got plans, I got goals getting there, I suppose failing small, often, and quick if you loose the day, night is your to win
4.
Game Over 01:51
Got more baggage than a train got freight there’s a knifey hobo knocking round the corners of my brain open like deep cut, don’t stitch me up bugs and black stuff crawling out my guts one for the money, two for the whooooo can’t hold my liquor but I can hold my shrooms fungi or two help me work out the proof solid math from the floor to the roof you get to live till you die, that’s it nice try they say people look like their dog I’m holding ghost leash, walking monologue talking to my self about mental health ‘I think we’re going to be ok’ I have my doubts it’s one for the fun of it, to decorate time three four the rhyme getting things done captain obvious pun don’t take me yet lord I only just begun you get to live till you die, that’s it nice try
5.
Beta Blues 02:10
better be on yourself, don’t let no one tell you how to do people love to pin you in the limits of their little view but the future is an unknown can’t nobody say no sooth you gotta be a skeptic but don’t use your mind like and excuse it’s hard work finding the good sometimes aint that the truth there’s a lot you can’t change but something’s always up to you you don’t get what you want, you get what you get if your mind’s locked down you don’t see no openings aint nothing for certain, many ways of getting it INST you don’t get what you want, you get what you get if your mind’s locked down you don’t see no openings aint nothing for certain, many ways of getting it cut your own path build a home to house your highest truth pivot or press on, iterate out them beta blues version on up get on that you.2
6.
money, pussy, and weed three of my favorite things getting laid, getting paid, getting higher than space two our of three aint bad honey please hand me that grass watching you undress feeling blessed I’m on my knees, taking in the scene like it’s my one and only breath happy as can be, sated and free money don’t buy love but money buys time and time can be spent making love and doing other fun stuff the holy trinity money, pussy, and weed
7.
shadow of light kicking noise around in the darkness cartoon hands, four fingers, no bird no flight pop goes the elbow paint, medium’s the message uncanny flood plain catching up passing lights way to be, it’s alive we’re all made up monsters crushing on our Frankenstein dust thrown puppets between lens and light source sunset blushed with the half-truth of a clean edge looking at a future long flown apart and rendered a robust broth, a thick soup of load bearing lies it’s quite the scene, it’s a happening time we’re all playing dress tying bows on monkey mind side saddle on the rat king, dreaming down the darkness cartoon hands, four fingers, no bird no flight brute force of enzymes, hijinks, and deep code bottoms up shake down, crushing through the fractal brine nothing to see, it’s all double blind hitched between the cold teeth of processes we ride it’s quite the scene, it’s a happening time dressing up the nothing the only show, the long unwind it’s not real, but it’s the realest lie pinned beneath the cold teeth of processes we ride
8.
I bent my head to the river and fed a feast of electric blue light my consciousness is mine to remix and tune however I like turned up and on big and bright pull up a cloud when I want to sit down and ease the ache of body and mind aint nobody’s business how you get your kicks no one can walk in the shoes you drive stepping hard, on through the night flutter and wow, here and now phase-shift of the finite ride static and hiss, the iron, the twist color the tape as it winds over and on, wound up tight
9.
Be Nice 03:43
10.
In the Wind 04:07
the closer you get to healing the sickness the more them demons scratch and kick, yeah I must be getting well, they’re getting down to business I’ll be alright now, like any minute down the alleyways and riverbanks of my youth red wine, blue sky, green, and stumbling through I was wild-ish, tethered to the moon some kind of gravity always in the loop seasons change days get longer whatever don’t take you down, makes you stronger I’m getting light, too feather to sit still every frayed edge of me is caught up on that thrill I’m in the wind one step ahead of where I been in the wind never going to touch the ground again

about

**UPDADE 2023.02.03

Finished it! Didier made me some stems at his studio and that helped a lot. Big thanks to Didier, Nathan, and Dave for helping me make this album, I really appreciate you guys.

I bit off more than I could chew with this project. I thought I could mix it myself and get it done in a few weeks so I posted the rough mixes thinking it would make me motivated to fix the mixes right away. That really backfired on me - I put too much pressure on myself and got frustrated and overwhelmed and stopped working on it. Eventually I would get up the gumption to give it another go and then get frustrated and so on. Two and a half years later I finally feel good enough about the mixes to call it a wrap.

**UPDATE 2022.03.20

I thought I was done and then re-listened and thought it sounded like garbage and then listened again and thought it sounded sort of ok. I'm going to try and tackle one song and see if I can turn it into something I'm unflinchingly proud of.

**UPDATE 2021.09.12

still working on this!! turns out I am NOT a particularly talented mix engineer. Still, I'm proud of how it's sounding. It's getting there. Tracks 1,2, and 8 are pretty close I think.**


2020.07.02
We were scheduled to start recording this album the first Saturday of the lockdown. Towards the end of March, when it became clear things weren't loosing up anytime soon, Didier suggested we try jamming online. If you want to get a sense of the chaos of trying to do this over Zoom you can check the videos I made here: you can check out some of our Zoom band practice sessions here: www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLBq8jlTPRzd-TdwYnBobnMdLbqHGeimJ-

Since I work in a grocery store as a Covid sponge I’ve been keeping to myself when I’m not at work. So, social distant record making it is then.

It’s rad to have bandmates that are wiling to deal with 90 minutes of technical issues and digital frustration, just to get at a few minutes of connection.

I appreciate that they trust me to get someplace good, even if it takes me awhile to get there and even if “there” is fucking weird.

We're recording this album via Zoom meetings, sending files back and forth. I’ll be mixing the album and making adjustments as we go along. Your feedback is welcome and encouraged.

I plan to release a song once a week, 10 songs in total.

Here’s the song titles, in no particular order:

Let the Right One In
Be Nice
Automata for the People
Take It Easy (But Take It)
Self Talk
Beta Blue
Flutter and Wow
In the Wind
Money, Pussy, Weed
Game Over

credits

released July 2, 2020

Nathan Kilen - Drums
Didier Leplae - Guitar
David Gelting - Bass Guitar
Jonathan Burks - Vocals and Piano

Produced and recorded by Jonathan Burks, Didier Leplae, David Gelting, and Nathan Kilen.

Mixed by Jonathan Burks

all songs by Jonathan E. Burks

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Jonathan Burks Milwaukee, Wisconsin

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